Throwback Thursday

And to lighten the mood a little, this is something I wrote a few years ago...

Filed Under "Rules I Didn't Think I Had to Mention...But I Did." 

Do not climb on top of the car to get onto the roof of the garage. Don't get onto the roof of the garage. Don't get on any roof. (Joe)

You must exit the top bunk before you are allowed to vomit. (Sam)

If you are falling from a bed do not reach out to the window to stop your fall. Much blood, screaming and stitches will ensue. And it will make your mother hyper-ventilate every time she thinks of it even years later. (Joe)

Do not pee in the bathroom trashcan. Do not pee in the houseplants. ("Not Me")

It is really cool when you sink a shot in basketball and get "nothing but net." Try to have the same enthusiasm when it comes to peeing in the toilet. The idea is to get "nothing but water." ("Not Me")

Do not throw wads of wet toilet paper on the bathroom ceiling. (Joe)

Do not lodge bottles of water behind the tires of the car. The resulting explosion of may result in a beating some sort. (Drew and Sam)

If someone must come into your room a second time to wake you up for school it will not be pleasant and it will involve pain. (Drew)

Minion Memos: Just so you know...

Putting your chewed gum down the front of your underwear for later use is not a good idea and will be painful. (Joe)

The miracle about Miracle Whip is that it will remove gum from genitals in a painless and even pleasant way. (Joe)

Walking in front of someone on a swing may cause a head injury. Head injuries can be amazingly bloody. (Sam)

Throwing a tantrum in a carpeted area is less painful than throwing one on a tile floor.(Sam)

If you eat an entire box of strong mints before bed you will wake up in the middle of the night sick to your stomach. Your vomit, however, will smell refreshingly minty. (Joe)

If you get your finger stuck in a hole of the shower shelf, your father and I will come to your rescue. We will wrap you in a towel for modesty's sake, disassemble the shelf and cut it off your finger with tin snips and then laugh at you for weeks. (Drew)

If you swallow a quarter when you are old enough to understand algebra we will randomly say, "Cha-ching!" in your presence and giggle when you turn red. (Not my child)

Chewing on a glowstick will result in your mouth and head glowing in a really cool but alarming way. (Drew)

A child with a glowing head waking you up from a deep sleep is extremely disturbing and will take years off your life. (Drew)

The chemicals that make glowsticks glow are non-toxic.

If you jump up and down throwing a screaming hissy fit because you didn't get your way, you will be asked to repeat the show once we have the camcorder ready. (Sam)

I agree that farts are funny but I will deny this in public. ("Not Me")

If you sustain an injury while pitching a fit, you are not entitled to any sympathy. We will try hard not to pee our pants while laughing at you. (Sam)

I gave you life, I do not have to give you a cell phone. (Drew)

If all of your friends have cells phone then you are one lucky guy – use theirs. (Drew)

If you leave a crow bar in the yard, your neighbor will find it with his $4000 zero turning radius riding lawn tractor. ("Not Me, I swear!")

...We battle too, for men...

From my favorite poem Bread and Roses:
"As we come marching marching,
We battle too, for men
For they are women's children
And we'll mother them again."

It’s been nearly three weeks since the confrontation. Why am I always so surprised at how much difference time can make? Thankfully, there was no yelling, no denial. It seemed he was relieved at being found out. What had been an every-now-and-then thing had snowballed into a full on binge that was out of control. I had been afraid of the truths that would come to light but am so comforted to find he had not ventured that far down the rabbit hole. The journey out of the hole and into the light was not a hard one. A couple days of sleeplessness and anxiety while his body detoxed was all it took.

Now, I feel that I have my son back. It has not been all happy, happy; there has been attitude, a little passive aggression to deal with and pleading to let up on the punishment but for the most part it has been better all around. There has been more talking, more communication and a lot more hugs and connections.  I am so relieved and thankful but will not let down my guard. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Walking the line between gracious love and unyielding principal is so hard to do but me and my husband have managed to do it so far. And together

For reasons only God knows, He has shown me the situations of a couple of friends. The first is a dear friend who is fighting the battle of her son’s addiction. He has sadly gone far, far down the rabbit hole and does not want to leave. It breaks my heart knowing her pleas and struggles. I also looked up an old friend from grade school, found her blog and read it from beginning to end as she poured out her heart over the loss of her son from suicide. She is facing the one year anniversary of his death on Christmas day. She is overcome with paralyzing pain, immense anger and guilt. I have cried and prayed. I am still praying.

Why did I find all this out? Why now? I feel that God brought all this to my attention for a reason but not sure why. If nothing else, I have been faithful and have covered my children, and other’s children in a deluge of prayer. And I want to cry out to those who have cute, sweet toddlers to prepare their hearts to possibly be broken by their children. But I’ll be silent until it happens and hopefully I can be a rock for someone who needs it.

The Beginning of a Difficult Journey

It's funny how your heart can know something but your head denies it. Or your head has knowledge that doesn't make it to your heart. I've known for a while now—a gut instinct, a mother's knowing—but there was no evidence so my head held onto the shred of denial while it could. Now even though there is still no hard evidence, this morning my head and my heart agree, my son is on drugs.

That is so hard to type. When I look at my son, there is a man there. But still I see the boy. The boy that giggled and brought me flowers and tried so much to mimic his dad. Where did we go wrong? Were we not strict enough, not vigilant enough? Yes.

So the journey begins and it's scary. There will be confrontation, denial, yelling, strife, lies told, truths revealed, lies remade, trust shattered. And there will be tears, they've already started. I'm weary already. What is this going to do to my family? Give me strength and endurance.

Lord, I promise to come to you in prayer at every turn. I fall on my knees in the middle of my son's room and ask you to please forgive my denial and take it away. I want truth even if it's not easy. Guide us, help us to walk the line of grace and mercy while being as hard and exacting as our son needs. Give us shrewdness and discernment, make us see. Bring the hidden sins to the light. Cover my son in love, grace and mercy but purify him with fire to make him reflect your image. Protect him from harm. I pray in the name of our Savior who was tempted in every way, Jesus. Amen.

Forty Three

Just some random thoughts written on my 43rd birthday... 

1. The meaning of life is simple. It boils down to God and people. Enjoy them to the fullest.
2. To be happy in life, fall in love with a man that makes you laugh. I did.
3. Twilight—the time when you can still count the stars—is the best time of day. The air smells like tea and is so calming.
4. Forgive yourself.
5. Forgive others.
6. The importance of forgiveness can’t be overstated, but it isn’t a magic band-aid and won’t fix a broken relationship. That takes a huge investment of time and commitment.
7. Never pass up an opportunity to have an English muffin.
8. Everyone knows to take care of the skin on their face but you should also take care of your neck too. That’s where aging really shows.
9. Comparison is the quencher of joy.
10. Forget clowns, it’s the monkeys and apes that are pure evil. They are just waiting to take over the world and eat us all face-first.
11. Microwave popcorn is an abomination.
12. Burnt microwave popcorn is the scourge of the earth.
13. Passive/Agressive head games can be won simply by not playing them. Or even acknowledging their existence. At. All.
14. Motherhood is not a competition, quit acting like it.
15. We are no more or less than the choices we make in life. Choose to be kind. Choose to be brilliant. Choose to be amazing.
16. No one else will make you great. You have to do it yourself.
17. Joy is free and abundant. So is misery. It’s your choice.
18. Parenting teenagers is like living in a psych ward. Sometimes you’re the warden but other times you feel like being alone in the rubber room so you can munch on crayons in peace.
19. The best feeling in the whole world is a baby rolling and tumbling inside you.
20. Relationships: Don’t burn your bridges. Except the ones that need to be burnt. Soak them in gasoline, light the match and walk away. Don’t look back.
21. Iced tea is proof God loves us.
22. The most ferocious animal on earth? A mad mama.
23. It’s a lot harder to turn a bad boy into a good man than it is to turn a good man into a bad boy. And then it’s your own personal brand of corruption.
24. Learn how to set boundaries.
25. Learn how to be angry, how to communicate that anger and how to argue constructively. It’s essential to a good marriage. To any good relationship actually.
26. I believe in aliens.
27. I want to believe in ghosts.
28. I have no first-hand experience with either and I like it just fine that way.
29. If a relationship wouldn’t survive if you stopped carrying it then it’s time you dropped it completely and walked away.
30. Being kind, loving and slow to anger is more important than I can say. However Crazy-Psycho-Witch is sometimes an appropriate response.
31. Live frugally but know that there are things you have to spend good money on and not buy cheaply. Things like mattresses and bras.
32. “Zero Tolerance” is the biggest load of crap. It’s a way to take common sense out of any situation.
33. Silence is a good way to get information out of people.
34. I will never understand the belief system behind homeopathic medicine.
35. You can compliment someone for some specific character trait and then watch as they become that way. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophesy. Works especially well with kids so try to find ways to compliment them for being kind, gentle, helpful, etc.
36. I can’t believe I’m this old. I feel 30, tops.
37. If you find a purse that you really like, go back and buy another one. Same with make-up.
38. Don’t trust anyone that is rude to wait staff.
39. If you fall in love and everyone around you tells you that it’s no good, listen to them.
40. Don’t neglect your girlfriends; they are the special ingredient to making a bland life an amazing life. I have a great group of friends I am so thankful for.
41. There’s a difference between happiness and joy. What you want is joy, it’s not dependant on your circumstances.
42. The most important decision in life is to follow God. The second most important decision is who you will marry. A bad marriage can destroy your soul.
43. I am a work in progress and I won’t give up on myself. Ever.